(First published in Reality)
I had a humbling sort of day yesterday. Some of my weaknesses and limitations were pointed out to me gently but accurately by someone I respect. There was no judgement attached. In fact the attitude was one of compassionate acceptance of me just as I am.
I went home and spent an hour or two vigorously pulling out weeds in my overgrown garden while I tried to process the encounter. As I made enough headway with the weeds to see the brown earth beneath I remembered that the word 'humble' is related to the word 'humus' or earth. Yes, humility has something to do with being brought down to earth about myself, I thought. No pretensions, no illusions, just the stripped bare reality of who I am.
Having someone else recogise the down to earth reality about me without judging it made me aware of how easily I judge myself. The particular issues in question were perhaps akin to Paul's thorn in the flesh; not so much things that can be changed, but realities to be accepted, for now at any rate. But was I willing to accept? Not easily! Perhaps humility is not only about seeing ourselves as God sees us, but also about accepting ourselves as God accepts us.
Paul encourages us to have a "sane estimate" of ourselves (Romans 12:3). The context warns against thinking of ourselves too highly. Pride is a tricky thing though. Failing to accept one's limitations is just as much pride as being puffed up about one's assumed strengths. In fact, when you look very closely, these two attitudes are identical twins!
The way we live out our spirituality and our service to others has to grow out of the down to earth reality of who, and how, we are. Sometimes this reality requires disciplined effort to make necessary changes. Sometimes it requires a compassionate self acceptance of limitations.
Come to think of it, Jesus has already modelled the connection between humility and "coming down to earth"! For him too it involved accepting limitations.
"...though he was in the form of God, he did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death - even death on a cross." (Phil 2:6-8).
Jesus had a sane estimate of himself. He knew who he was and he exercised his God given ministry fully. He also knew his limits. When he was tired he rested.[i] When he needed solitude he went off by himself.[ii] When he was fearful and lonely he asked for the support of friends.[iii] When there were more demands made on him than he could meet, he left some of them unmet.[iv]
Above all, the humility of Jesus is demonstrated in his lack of defensiveness in the face of misunderstanding and injustice. When falsely accused he made no defense.[v] When mocked and ridiculed as "king of the Jews", he made no attempt to prove that he really was.[vi] When taunted that if he was the saviour he ought to be able to come down from the cross, he offered no explanation.[vii] Stripped, at this point, of even his previously obvious strengths, Jesus allows the bare earth of his life to be seen without defense.
Humility, humiliation, humus: the bare earth and earthiness of who we are, revealed. Living out that reality means using God given gifts as a stewardship and without fanfare. It means accepting limitations without shame, self-blame or excuses. It may mean standing silent in the face of misunderstanding, trusting God to do any vindicating that he deems necessary.
The final word from God about this kind of down to earth, humble spirituality as modelled by Jesus is that:
"God also highly exalted him and gave him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bend, in heaven and on earth and under the earth and every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father." (Phil 2:9-11).
And as Peter points out in his first letter (5:6), exactly the same principles apply to us: "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you in due time."
So I'm learning to look with gentle anticipation at the bare earth of my external and my internal garden and wonder what now has freedom and space to grow.
