Why me?

Usually the "why me?" question is asked when things are bad. "How come I'm the one losing my job... getting cancer?... having a family member die?" Fair enough. It's natural to feel the shock of unexpected tragedy or loss. We subconsciously think this will happen "to someone else but not me."

Yet this morning as I enjoyed the luxury of a leisurely morning walk I asked the question in a different way. "Why me? Why should I have so much freedom... a healthy (enough!) body... live in such beautiful surroundings?"
I pondered how since early childhood I have been drawn to solitude and silence in beautiful places.
I am forever grateful for childhood summers spent on Ponui Island in the Hauraki Gulf.
Getting there by dinghy and launch was part of the adventure! Sadly I have very few photos of that time. This one was taken approx 1953 with me at bottom of picture holding onto another child to keep her from falling in and Mum at top right with big sunhat.

I did not take this photo but it brings back memories!

I remember the freedom of being able to wander off through the bush or on the beach on my own or with a friend and explore without fear. Ponui being a privately owned island made it safe for my parents to allow such freedom. I'm grateful that they did!

Living in Auckland meant that there were plenty of beaches, parks and hills to enjoy. Cornwall Park and One Tree Hill have always been special places - still enjoyed today.

Then I lived in Torbay with Long Bay beach just down the road:

After 15 years there we moved to Orewa where we are spoilt for choice as many of my previous Blogs have shown - lake, estuary, beach, bush walk - all within easy reach. I'll add just two photos:

So you see why I say "Why me?" There's no answer of course. I could have been born in a refugee camp, or to a poor family struggling to survive in a city slum. I could have been brought up in an abusive family or have lived all my life with a serious disability. The list of "could haves" is endless. Sometimes I even feel a bit guilty to have been given so much ... but receiving what I have been given with gratitude is more appropriate - and that I certainly do - every day. 

Living gratefully and enjoying to the full the gifts of so much time surrounded by beauty has undoubtedly shaped who I am. There's mystery in what we have been given and how it shapes us. I trust that the mystery of my privileged life has, and does, bear fruit in the way I live it out.