Silence

If we were not so single minded

about keeping our lives moving,

and for once could do nothing,

perhaps a huge silence

might interrupt this sadness

of never understanding ourselves.

- Pablo Neruda

I've always been a person who loves silence. Even as a child my favourite places were quiet ones - indoors or out. Now I spend many hours of most days in silence. I walk - without earbuds! I usually drive and do things round the house without the radio or music. It is a preference, not a discipline. I spend quite a lot of time listening to others, that's a different kind of "silence". Of course there is the sound of the other person speaking, but internally I am as silent as possible to hear without the distortion of my own internal "noise".

Internal noise/silence is of course a completely different dimension to plumb. External silence often reveals the cacophony of endless thought loops, inner monologue, or dialogue between opposing internal voices. This is an arena I have been exploring more intentionally for many years. I suspect it is a life-long journey - a very rich and rewarding one. A daily meditation practice is a cornerstone. For me that is Centering Prayer but any established practice leads to the same end.

I'm always drawn to books about deeper, contemplative silence and have been nurtured and tutored through them by people who have charted the path ahead of me. The poem heading today's Post is from a book I am re-reading: The Grace in Aging by Kathleen Dowling Singh. I feel grateful that (most of the time) I can identify with this comment from the chapter on silence I was reading this morning:
"Silence is a solace. It is a space of penetrative relaxation, like falling into a hammock and, feeling ourselves to be suspended and supported, allowing ourselves to be suspended and supported. We can sink into it and let go of all the tension and energy required to hold up both ourselves and our stories. Quietude gives a deep rest."

I'm not sure which book I'm reading in this literal "hammock space"! But two of my favourite books supporting the practice of silence are:

and its sequel...

White Water Rafting

As I said in my last post I'm doing a bit of a "retrospective" look though past journals and poetry.
This is a poem I wrote in 1995 - but I still like it and identify with it!
As I think about the date I wrote this, I realize that it was just six months before my brain aneurysm so the "next challenge" was bigger than I anticipated when I wrote!

WHITE WATER RAFTING

White water rafting in the caverns of my soul

terrifying, exhilarating -

this is no time to analyse

just hang on and go with it.

Hold the sides of the boat and lean into the curves.

No jumping out or going back now

No use trying to grab the solid looking rocks

that flash by - to hold onto them would mean

being wrenched out of the boat and left behind.

It's dark in these underground caves and

no way of knowing what is around the next bend.

Shooting the rapids one minute

Gliding calmly the next - the trick is

to be alert and fully aware of each moment.

All one's energy is focussed on just that -

Being alert for what each moment requires:

Holding on in the rough patches,

Relaxing and drawing breath when possible,

Ready then for the next challenge.

The river determines the route and the destination

This is no highway with multi choice exits.

The Guide gives instructions:

"Hold on, lean right, let go, bail..."

And I? I am committed to the river and the guide.

Trusting them, I will emerge into the light,

And in retrospect would not have missed the journey!

Sheila Pritchard

13 December 1995

If God invited you to a party...

If God 

Invited you to a party

And said,

"Everyone

In the ballroom tonight

Will be my special 

Guest,"

How would you then treat them

When you

Arrived?

Indeed, indeed!

And Hafiz knows

There is no one in this world

Who

Is not upon

His Jeweled Dance 

 Floor.

Hafiz 
from The Gift Translator Daniel Ladinsky

                                                      

Find a Better Job

Now

That

All your worry

Has proved such an

Unlucrative

Business,

Why

Not

Find a better

Job.

-Hafiz 

from The Gift

Translator Daniel Ladinsky

What if the truth got out?

I better sound smart once in a while,
in case someone is spying.

What if the truth got out
that I really prefer silliness and silence
to offering fancy clues to the universe?

- Hafiz

I love this! And yes he does say "silliness" not "stillness" as I first thought!

It's all about letting go.

I am convinced that a healthy spiritual journey is primarily about letting go. I could say a lot more about that but for now a few quotes from the latest issue of Parabola, a journal we receive regularly. The theme of this issue is Liberation and Letting Go. (You can see more content from this issue on line.)

Where is God
 - Mark Nepo

It's as if what is unbreakable -
the very pulse of life - waits for
everything else to be torn away,
and then in the bareness that
only silence and suffering and
great love can expose, it dares
to speak through us and to us.

It seems to say, if you want to last,
hold on to nothing. If you want
to know love, let in everything.
If you want to feel the presence
of everything, stop counting
the things that break along the way.

(Like most poetry this repays a repeated reading in a reflective, open-hearted way.)

"Death is not extinguishing the light, 

it is only putting out the lamp because dawn has come."

- Rabindranath Tagore

Floating in Grace

The Avowal

As swimmers dare

to lie face to the sky

and water bears them,

as hawks rest upon air

and air sustains them,

so would I learn to attain

freefall, and float

into Creator Spirit's deep embrace,

knowing no effort earns

that all-surrounding grace.

                                    -- Denise Levertov

The Guest House

One of my favourite Rumi poems:

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,

meet them at the door laughing,

and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

-       Rumi

-       Translation by Coleman Barks 

The Thread

There's a thread you follow.It goes among

things that change. But it doesn't change.

People wonder about what you are pursuing.  

You have to explain about the thread.

But it is hard for others to see.

While you hold it you can't get lost.

Tragedies happen; people get hurt

or die and you suffer and get old.

Nothing you can do can stop time's unfolding.

You don't ever let go of the thread.

    - William Stafford

If you wonder what "the thread" might be - Richard Rohr says: "My words for the thread that Stafford speaks of are the True Self - the immortal diamond that we have been mining here. Your True Self is who you are, and always have been in God, and at its core, it is love itself. Love is both who you are and who you are still becoming, like a sunflower seed that becomes its own sunflower."
- Immortal Diamond p176

Half Hearted Isn't Enough

Today I "happened upon" this marvellous poem:

Half-Hearted Isn't Enough

My heart

isn't in the mood

for

mediocrity

half-hearted

isn't enough

I have never seen

a half-hearted bird

or

a mediocre mountain

all

the clouds and stars

I have ever seen

have given it

their all

I am the only one

who

has been

holding back

until

now

Suni

www.sunipoems.com  

(It was in the Te Moata retreat centre newsletter: http://www.temoata.org )  

I looked up more of Suni's poems on her website and may well buy the whole book. I love the poetry of Rumi and Hafiz and Suni's poems have the same ring to them.