Sometimes a caravan stops at an Oasis. For me 1988 was an Oasis so I feel it deserves a whole Post - not just a brief mention in the next group of seven! Although I'm calling it an Oasis it wasn't all calm, peaceful and restorative! In fact two of the three major Sabbatical sections were anything but, as you will see!
The first leg of the journey was to Melbourne to visit
The Community of the Transfiguration. This is a Baptist Monastic community in Geelong. (I came back to this community later in the year - which I had not planned.) On my first visit of several weeks I was impressed by this "modern day" monastic community of about 20 people - married and single who lived together in a variety of dwellings. A beautiful brick chapel had been built by hand from an unused Church which they had personally dismantled.
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| Outside the Chapel in the garden |
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| Sunday services were held in this part of the Chapel. Note the open Baptistry. |
The hours of prayer were celebrated in the Oratory with beautiful sung liturgy. Everyone in the community welcomed me warmly and I joined in the physical work in the main house and in the garden. One or two of the community went out to work to earn money for running the property.
Most of the community were single but there was one married couple and their school age daughter. Friends came to Sunday services and often joined us on picnics and other events.
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| It was a big garden! |
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L-R Cheryl, Doug, Neil, Heather (in white blouse), Oz, Steve, Glenys,
central front: Betty, Marg and Di behind her, Graeme (Prior) and Terry behind them. |
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| Picnic with friends |
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That's me riding pillion behind Neil with Steve on the other bike.
Leaving for a wonderful, bracing ride along the Great Ocean Road! |
So while there was a lot that was very good about my experience in the community, some quite deep problems became evident especially on my return there later in the year. More about that below!
The next stop - England and Wales.
When I was in Nigeria I became good friends with Maureen Stringer as we both taught at Hillcrest School and lived in the same apartment building. Maureen lives in England and she was a wonderful friend to me when I got there. I stayed with her and she took me to many of the places I needed or wanted to go. A highlight is our weekend on Iona:
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| Arriving on the ferry from Mull |
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| The Abbey (thanks to Iona website for this photo!) |
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| The Abbey, The McLeod Centre and accommodation. |
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Me at the beach where St Columba is said to have arrived in his coracle.
He founded the Abbey in 563. |
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| One of the many Celtic Crosses on the Island |
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| Maureen at the marble quarry site on far side of the Island |
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| The abandoned Nunnery |
I also visited my Aunty Kath (Dad's only sister) in South Wales...
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| Aunty Kath dressed for Chapel! |
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| Aunty Kath at one of her favourite places. |
...and my Aunty Sheila in London. I don't think I was particularly named after her. She was Mum's brother's wife.
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| Aunty Sheila and cousin Elizabeth (who was anorexic) |
St Beuno's Jesuit Spirituality Centre
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My room was the left of the two white dormer windows at roof level.
Up four flights of stairs - no lifts then. |
My three months at St Beuno's was the heart of my Sabbatical year. I'm writing this 31 years later and these three months still stand out as life changing.The three month spiritual directors' training programme included a thirty day retreat. The month either side of that involved skills training and supervised practice, all in the context of daily Eucharist in the atmosphere of the Ignatian community.
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| Inside the main chapel |
When I applied for the course I asked if I would be able to take communion at the Eucharist. I knew if the answer was 'no' I would have to re-consider as I would find it too painful to be excluded. I was delighted when I was assured I was welcome to participate fully. There were two of us who were not Catholics in our group of 36. The other was a High Church Anglican priest.
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| Our whole group |
I had to smile at the hesitations of the Bible College hierarchy about me going "beyond the pale". The entire 30day retreat is based on praying one's way through the Gospels from the birth of Jesus to the resurrection and ascension. It is more Biblical and 'evangelical' than anything I've done before or since! The retreat is silent - apart from a daily conversation with a spiritual director who guides the process of the four "weeks" of meditations. I was linked with Fr David Townsend with whom I keep in touch to this day. (His mother was a Baptist - so I guess that's why he was 'given' me!!) He was exactly the right person.
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My room on the top floor. No lifts so up four flights of stairs.
The "young ones" were on this floor I think. |
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Fr David Townsend my director - in a mischievous mood!
(Not during the retreat!) |
One of the loveliest places to go during the silence of the retreat was the Rock Chapel:
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| Rock Chapel - a bit of a climb but well worth it. |
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| Rock Chapel (St Beuno's website photo) |
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| When not in retreat we often walked and picnicked together. |
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Eating in the cosy village Pub was sometimes a treat -
though all the excellent meals were provided at St Beuno's |
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| Many miles of beautiful North Wales countryside. |
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| Daffodils everywhere in the grounds as Spring arrived. |
The countryside added a great deal to the contemplative atmosphere of these three months. It felt quite safe to wander alone for miles along country lanes, beside beautiful small cottages and over hillsides "where sheep may safely graze". One of those hills had a cross at the top. I was fortunate that my retreat coincided with Easter. So at sunrise on Easter Sunday I climbed to the cross.
A major part of an Ignatian retreat is focussed on discernment. I had arrived knowing that my discernment issue was whether or not to return to BCNZ. I assumed that I would decide not to! That certainly was not "indifference" which is the basis for a true discernment. My director wisely told me not to decide too soon but let the whole retreat run its course. In the end it was clear that it was right for me to return and see how things developed. So in that light I left this life changing three month experience.
More time with friends.
It was surprisingly difficult to make the transition from St Beuno's. It felt like a genuine grief to leave there. But it was good to have some more time with friends before setting off on the third offical section of my Sabbatical time.
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| Heather Broers in the Cotswolds countryside |
Heather and I have been pen-friends since we were about 12. We still keep in touch regularly - by email these days! At the time of writing - that's about sixty-two years of friendship! It was to Heather's place that I went after St Beuno's. She lives not far from Stratford-on-Avon.
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| Heather beside the Avon |
Then there were friends in Devon who ran a small Methodist retreat house called Burstone Manor. Howard has died now but (another) Heather still lives there and keeps in touch with Christmas letters.
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| Howard and Heather with Sally and Jos at Burstone Manor |
As a good Methodist, Heather took me to visit a cottage where "John Wesley preached and rested."
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| Me inside John Wesley's cottage |
Then more time with Maureen and Joan, a friend from Nigeria days. The three of us had been good friends for the years we overlapped as SIM missionaries all teaching at Hillcrest.
Canada and Regent College
The third leg of my Sabbatical journey was to do some study in the history of spirituality at Regent College, Vancouver under the direction and supervision of Dr James Houston. I had met Dr Houston when he visited BCNZ and subsequently arranged this study period with him by email. He had agreed to supervise me and said that accommodation would be available at a student hostel. His book The Transforming Friendship had been significant for me and I looked forward to this time to round off my Sabbatical.
I had friends in North America - USA and Canada. Looking back at photos I can't remember exactly how I fitted in all these visits before heading off to Vancouver! But here are few to remember:
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Ines, a dear friend from Nigeria, who has MS
and was in retirement in Toronto |
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| Living out of a suitcase!! |
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| At Niagara Falls |
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| Ready to walk in behind the falls |
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Rhoda with her brother and his wife in Michigan.
Rhoda was the school counsellor at Hillcrest for a short time. |
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Helen and Gordon Stanley with Karla North Carolina.
Helen and Gordon welcomed me to Nigeria when I first arrived. |
I decided to travel from Toronto to Vancouver on the train! I was lucky to get a ticket for a sleeping compartment at quite short notice. I love train travel and the solitude of a couple of days before the next main part of my Sabbatical was enticing.
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| Passing a logging area |
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| Seeing the Rockies from the Dome lounge |
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| A short stop at Banff |
I thoroughly enjoyed the train trip and the varied landscapes across the whole continent. I wish I had been a better photographer. No editing possible weeks later when I got the film developed!
When I finally arrived in Vancouver Dr Houston met me at the train and took me to their home. Mrs Huston was a gracious hostess. There was one other woman staying there too. After showing me round Regent College the next day it began to dawn on me that the plans for supervised study and accommodation seemed to have been totally forgotten. To this day I have no idea what happened and I was too overwhelmed and shy to confront this directly. I was told I could use the library and stay at their home for a couple of weeks while I sorted out other accommodation.
The main things I remember now are being a rather lonely tourist in this beautiful city - and playing several games of Scrabble with Dr and Mrs Houston who played every day. It was all quite bizarre!
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| Cycling round Stanley Park on a hired bike |
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| The Empress Hotel where "English" afternoon tea is beautifully served! |
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| Playing Scrabble with Dr and Mrs Houston |
What made it somewhat better was a conversation with the other person staying there who said she had had a similar experience of arriving to find plans she thought were definite not eventuating. At least I didn't feel quite so crazy. I stayed for about ten days I think while I worked out what to do. I certainly didn't want to look for accommodation and embark on study by myself for the next couple of months under these circumstances. Mrs Houston was very nice and took me to a few places during that time. Somehow I never plucked up the courage to say to her how puzzled I was with what had happened. It all felt extremely awkward.
I arranged to stay for awhile with the daughter of a friend of Mum's who lived in Vancouver and whom I was planning to visit while I was there. That was a lovely friendly, relaxed time. One highlight was a visit to Buchart Gardens.
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| Postcard! |
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| Jill, Nell (mum's friend) and Rachel |
I had also contacted the Geelong community and they had warmly invited me to go back there for as long as I wanted. First I returned to England for more time with Maureen and some other family visits. While there I wanted to visit Norwich and the church where Mother Julian had her tiny cell.
I went on a double decker bus from London and as it was arriving at the Guest House where I was going to stay I looked out the window and saw Graeme, the Prior of the Geelong community, along with Janelle, the youngest member of the community! I had no idea what they were doing in England but I must have told the community I was visiting Norwich for a few days.
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| The Anglican Church in Norwich which has Julian's cell at the side. |
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| Graeme and Janelle outside the Church |
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| Inside Julian's cell. |
It all seemed rather surreal but it was nice to see them. Apparently Graeme thought it was a good time to give Janelle a bit of an overseas trip and organised it to meet up with me along the way. Very strange looking back now but somehow at the time, though unexpected, it all seemed fine. (And in case you are wondering I don't think there was anything amiss about this. Janelle's parents, members of the community, had obviously OK'd it.)
So a few weeks later I returned to Australia and was once again very warmly welcomed by the Community of the Transfiguration. This time I was invited to be a full part of community meetings, not just a visitor.
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| Inside main house - special dinner for my 43rd birthday! |
Although there was much that I appreciated and learned in the context of this community, I began to be concerned about some aspects of the dynamics that were becoming very stressful for everyone. I suppose all communities have to work through underlying issues that become apparent over time.
It was a long time ago now so I won't go into details but it was an insight for me about being trusted enough to see below the surface. It showed quite starkly the influence of a leader for
both good and ill simultaneously. This was not a sexual abuse issue, it was more about power dynamics and emotional wellbeing. I was very stressed and quite shaken by the fact that it fell to me to talk with two of the Guardians (external 'board members') as those in the community found it hard to reveal some of the issues. Fortunately the Guardians were excellent and action was taken after I left.
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| Rae and Des Darrer. Rae was a Guardian. |
I did leave earlier than I had expected because the stress was something I didn't need once I had taken the action that was mine to take. I stayed with Rae (a Guardian) and Des for a week or two I think and then arranged to go on retreat to the RSCJ (Religious of the Sacred Heart) community not far away in Braybrook. I already knew one of the sisters there: Faith McMurtrie, who had started out as a Baptist minister in NZ!
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| Faith in the kitchen at Braybrook RSCJ |
Before heading back to NZ I also spent time with two more friends: Helena Stretton who was the Dean of Women at BCNZ but was in Australia visiting her mother; and Lee McKay a good friend from NZ who was visiting her sister.
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| Helena, her mum and a friend of Helena's |
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| Lee in picnic mode! |
So the months I had expected to spend at Regent College were filled in unexpected ways but I was grateful I was never "left in the lurch" without somewhere to go.
At the beginning of this year my journal reveals that I had prayed: "Reveal myself to me." perhaps a strange prayer - not "Reveal yourself to me." But then - and now - it makes sense. I learned a great deal about myself in that year. After the trauma of even being "allowed" to go St Beuno's as part of my Sabbatical, it was ironic that those three months were the only part of the year that went smoothly without stress or disruption! I learned that I was quite naive in some ways - also reluctant to ask for what I needed or be assertive. I was often lonely at the times of particular stress and difficulty. But I suppose it is also true that in spite of all that I navigated some pretty challenging situations. Most importantly, I was deeply affirmed in my direction in life. My passion for spiritual growth - my own and that of others - had deepened. Graeme (Geelong) said he thought I'd make a good novice mistress!! I thought that was quite funny - especially as he was a Baptist. But I did know what he meant in the context of my involvement with members of the community. My spiritual director (St Beuno's) said he thought I had a gift for the ministry of spiritual direction and hoped I would be able to pursue that.
So I set off back to NZ and Bible College not having any idea how I would be received!
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The end of my Sabbatical year - farewelled by Kath
a friend of the Geelong community. |
Melbourne - friends from BCNZ time
Geelong
England and Wales Heather, Maureen, Aunty Kath
St Beunos
Canada
Julian of Norwich
Back to Geelong
